When I was a boy, I’d often spend summer evenings sitting in my favorite rocking chair watching the summer sun slowly melt into the horizon. It was almost a ritual for me. I felt more connected to the majesty of the Universe there than anywhere else. More than church, or experiencing the natural high that finishing a drawing or a painting would give me. There was just something all together magical about the whole thing in the eyes of a dumb child.
Even though, as I grew older, I eventually stopped outright worshiping the sun, I never stopped looking when I could get a chance in my busy adult life to take a moment to appreciate it. What I began noticing and have documented in my book, Why Your Sunsets Look All Unnatural and Brighter Than They Used To: A Bewildered Journey Across The Country, was that they just started getting unusually bright, like crazy bright. I mean, to the point that they started looking like pastel scribbles by children on acid. I’m not buying that something so crazy looking could be just a natural occurrence. From a scientific standard, these sorts of sunsets shouldn’t even be possible. I asked famous laser scientist and expert on light refraction to explain the things necessary behind such insane looking sunsets. “They’re impossible” he said. “There really is no scientific way to explain this away. I’m going paranormal on this one.” Wow, folks! You heard it hear at IFLScience.org, Groundbreaking stuff as usual.
The next step in a scientific journey, and this is how I treat all of my exposes, is to try and find the answer of course. Why? What? How? When? What time? These are all journalism basics, so get your notepad and let’s go! Where will we end up?
Sikrit Alaska? Well, shit. Not the romantic, exciting life of a journalist I dreamed about, but we all need to start somewhere, right.
So, I made the best of what I had to work with and was off to interview the locals. Starting above with Jim Hanstead who is their best fisherman and therefore Mayor of the town. What he had to say about the changing sunsets was this. “Well, when I was a kid, out here hunting polar bears as normal Alaskan boys do, the sunsets were nothing more than background lighting on our way home. Nothing remarkable about them, really. Then just a few years ago, right around the time when all those weird noises started happening that nobody else but me can hear, the sunsets went all crazy. Like, they’re just too bright? You know what I mean?”
Yes, Jim. We definitely know what you mean. It’s totally weird. There’s no denying. But why? Why is this happening? I turned to Jim for answers, “The Government, man! They been trying to kill us off since forever. You know how they do!” I was shocked to say the least. This kind of revelation coming from an official government official!? Okay, but why do they want us dead, what benefit do they get out of that? And, if sunsets are now poisoning our skies, doesn’t that harm “them” as well? “No” said Jim. They’ve had the vaccines.” I had to catch an Uber in an hour, he was the only guy around and the IFLScience budget is pretty shitty. I had wanted to talk to so many more locals. The guys at the bar had said there was a weather control tower only miles outside of the city. I think this is where I’ll be heading next. The truth is out there.