Simply put, the human brain is an amazing thing. As critical as it is in our daily existence, we really don’t know much about our own brains. Which is weird because we know stuff with our brains, but don’t know about our brains with our brains. Science calls that irony. Neurological research is a field underfunded on public record, but it has recently come to iflscience’s attention that behind closed doors, some wild shit has been going on. An anonymous donor and neural scientist who have been working in seclusion in Chad Johnson’s basement ( his mom said it’s okay ) have been conducting a number of studies involving psychotropic drugs and mental powers.
Innate abilities are abilities that you are born with or come to you naturally. Many cultures believe that each of us has a natural psychic ability. To access this natural psychic ability, Chad and company have experimented in ways that may not be “legal.” It is also said that you need to master the ability to open your third eye in order to achieve maximum psychic powers which is one of seven Chakras. Chakras, for the layperson, is mind science. Now, according to our anonymous sources and Chad, Chad has not only opened his third eye but has mastered all seven Chakras thanks to science. When I say science, I’m mostly referring to a combination of drugs and nano chips. This is what Chad told me. For readers concerned with investigative integrity, we’ve verified Chad’s story because his millionaire and scientist friend have reached out to us with Facebook accounts, and thanks to Facebook’s stern policy on no fake profiles, we can be sure these guys are totally real. Thanks, Facebook!
Phillip Kennedy (who later founded Neural Signals in 1987) and colleagues built the first intracortical brain–computer interface by implanting neurotrophic-coneelectrodes into monkeys. This Technology is known as BCI or Brain Computer Interface. Using mathematical filters, the researchers decoded the signals to generate movies of what the monkeys saw and were able to reconstruct recognizable scenes and moving objects. Mostly what the monkeys thought about were cats, and this is why today the internet is mostly cats. It’s essentially a monkey derived computer virus.
Chad and company used these same technologies and principles when conducting their studies, but modernized the experiment with “Loads of LSD” and sleep deprivation. After five days of a steady diet of nothing but hallucinogens and some water strange things began to happen. On day five Chad was able to open doorways to multiple realities. The first new world he entered he was greeted by Wolf Zendick, a now deceased hippy commune director. Wolf taught Chad much in the same way that Yoda taught Luke, which is to say mostly half assed and largely unfinished. Before Wolf could complete his lessons, Chad just started running off to other worlds. He describes giant crab beasts, talking fish, some guy called the Crimson King and an assortment of other characters. Interestingly enough, Chad found no trace of dinosaurs in any of these realities.
Once Chad had returned to our world, he realized he had the ability to not only read minds, but to erase them and rebuild them to his liking. His mother has since punished him out of concern for world safety and the future of humanity. Although Chad is now a dangerous weapon, we can only hope this groundbreaking research will eventually make these powers available to all of us.