I Arrive at the Tower

My Brave and Direct Confrontation With Powerful Mystery Men


Days after my bizarre encounter in Sikik Alaska, I was finally able to find a group of men known as the ‘Truth of God Militia’ that were willing to take me to the weather control tower that I kept hearing about. They seem like really nice guys, great with guns! Supposedly it is located 50 miles east of here in Kanuwu Alaska. Well, we are on our way!

I didn’t have my camera ready, but this sums up what we saw almost exactly. Except ours had more armed guards.

After 8 hours in Larry’s van, and at least 6 hours of them telling me about Obama’s alien origins, we arrived at the now legendary ‘Tower.’ We were about 3 miles form its electric fence. We could easily make out the armed guards there in towers that were located about every 20ft along the wall. larry’s cousin, Jingle jan as he was known, started shooting flares at the towers! Next thing I knew, gun shots were coming from all around! I’m pretty sure I saw Larry’s head explode! OMG! OMG! What is going on! Well IfLScience, I hope this is the cutting edge science with edge that you were hoping for. I’m finishing this article and will have it emailed to the publishers as soon as possible. My laptop is losing power as I hide here under this overturned 5 ton up-armored truck. I hear people digging through the rubble, I need to unplug!

Me hard at work digging through the rubble.

Okay, shew! I managed to hot shot a Jeep before any of those guards got anywhere close to me and have driven back to the hotel. The things I saw after I unplugged are beyond human comprehension. After the last shots were fired, strange craft left the premises of the tower. As they approached, they started hovering over the dead and wounded. The craft shot down some sort of beam, and I swear, I could hear Journey playing from the craft at loud volumes. The beam then began to pull the bodies, dead or alive, into the craft then they would fly off so quickly it’s like they seemed to just disappear in thin air. As I sped away, for some time I could see an Army vehicle following me in the far distance. Once I pulled onto a main road, they stopped their pursuit.

Me being an off road action hero in my jeep!

Now I sit here in my hotel, lights off…waiting. I fear I’ve gone in over my head here. Oh well, this is a cause I must be willing to die for. Being a journalist is dangerous. I knew what I was getting into. The people must have the truth. I’m in my hotel bathroom typing this from my iphone. I’m trying to minimize my light output and heat signature. I’m going to try and sleep next to this toilet covered in mud so that I can’t be picked up on thermal imaging. I will follow up as soon as I can, readers.

I’m undercover, so I’m wearing a wig. Shhh.

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