After a nearly 10 year hiatus, Pluto has come crawling back to NASA.

“Pluto started tagging us in Instagram photos, canoodling with Charon, Nix and Hydra,” NASA chief Pluto scientist Dr. John Varone explains, “they seemed to be having a great time, really rubbing the break-up in our faces.  We tried to ignore them, but the pain was oftentimes too much to bear.  We would spend hours crying, vowing to shut off Instagram and holding each other.”

Pluto and Charon, canoodling.
Pluto and Charon, canoodling.

The controversy over the most petite and desirable planet is not a new one.  It’s flip flopped back and forth between a planet, insignificant piece of space matter, and dwarf planet.  Classrooms have an empty, glaring, hole in their dioramas that once held the cute little Pluto in the same ranks as Jupiter or Saturn.  Teachers sigh and slowly twirl the string around the neighboring planets, wishing with all of their might that the “My Very Educated Mother Just Showed Us Nine Planets” acronym would still work for children.  Instead, they are faced with children screaming “nine what?!”

Dr. Varone went on to explain, “then, one cold January night, Pluto DMed us with this vintage filter, beautiful picture and the words ‘I made a mistake.’  That’s when we opened up the conversation again.”

Instagram DM that may prove to change the course of solar history
Instagram DM that may prove to change the course of solar history…again

It was clear that Pluto was back in the game, leaving the Kuiper Belt once and for all.

“Pluto was clear that it was finished with the Kuiper Belt.  It needed some time to roam free, uninhibited in the cosmos, but we’re pretty sure Pluto will come back to stay,” Dr. Varone continued, “we’ve had a controversial relationship with the planet, but we’re pretty sure it’s party days have come to an end.  We’re excited to start our new lives together.”

We can’t wait for the Hollywood movie!

IFLScience Facebook Comments